La contemporaine en d.e.v.e.n.i.r

Ne peux plus supporter: La télé, les OGM, les morons, le fast-food, les VUS, la surconsommation, les méga-porcheries, l’abattage d'arbres, les gratteux-chanceux, G.W.Bush. Oui j'adore, encore: La bouffe bio, la vie saine, Jacques Languirand, la conscience humaine et environnementale, les dodos d'après-midi, l'émerveillement, les lacs, la paix, l'humour absurde et la mer. J'aime: le plus mignon des québécois qui habite les îles Canaries.

26 août 2006

Tu es poussière et tu retourneras...

Je l'avais oubliée celle-là...

Le prêtre nous la récitait je crois durant la période du Mercredi des Cendres non?

Et puis voilà, le centre funéraire nous appelle pour nous demander de venir chercher les cendres de notre petite.

Trop difficile encore...mais bon. C'est une étape de plus dans un cheminement long, trop long. Allez chercher le reste, les restes, les cendres.

Alors la préposée nous tend une boîte de plastique noir en nous disant: "Voilà, ce sont les cendres de votre petite". Absurde, irréel, étrange et horrible. Un être humain brûlé et réduit en cendres. Nous n’avions pas pensé à l’effet que ça nous ferait. Et puis c’était plutôt lourd. La boîte m’a quasiment glissé entre les mains. Lourd…oui lourd pour une petite puce de 8 ans.

Et puis les cendres ont passé 2 nuits dans la bagnole. Trop émotive pour entrer la chose chez moi.

Je sais très bien que ces cendres ne sont que matière, qu’elles sont volatiles et qu’elles ne sont pas ma fille. Et pourtant, le fait de les tenir contre mon cœur, contre mon corps vivant et mon âme m’a complètement chavirée.

Nous avions décidé de ne pas mettre les cendres dans un columbarium. Trop impersonnel, trop sec, trop loin de la vie. Nous devrons donc trouver pour cette matière un espace, un lieu, un sens.

Si vous avez des idées….moi, la fatigue bouffe toute mon imagination.

66 Comments:

Blogger La Souimi said...

Chère Contemporaine,

Ça fait 6 mois que je n'ai pas écouté Kanasuta de Desjardins. En lisant le blogue de Martine, la banlieusarde, j'ai éprouvé le besoin de l'écouter. Va voir ses superbes photos. J'ai pensé à Desjardins et à toi. Puis, j'ai mis le CD. Puis voilà, j'arrive sur ton blogue, à l'instant même pendant lequel "Il y aura" entame le refrain avec les petits enfants qui chantent. Je te dis,,, à l'instant même.

La vie a été déjà transmise avec les transplantations qui ont permis à des enfants d'espérer et de vivre. C'est d'une grandeur... Oui, les restes ne sont que symboles parce que l'essentiel est transmis et au centuple. Parce qu'elle l'a décidé ainsi. Mais, peut-être reste-t-il encore un petit peu plus à donner... Donc peut-être, avec ces cendres qui présentement, posent une interrogation dans ton esprit, dans ton âme, je planterais un arbre. Un beau. Un gigantesque. Le plus beau. Un chêne, un marronnier, un gros érable... Peu importe. Quelque chose de grand. Pour voir la vie... continuer....

Toutes mes pensées

Souimi
xxx

26 août, 2006  
Blogger La contemporaine contemple said...

Salut Souimi...j'ai suivi tes recommandations pour Les Banlieusardises...whow...
Et pour Desjardins, je viens de remettre le disque à un copain hier mais je te promets de le ré-écouter très bientôt.
Merci pour le reste du message...que dire, ça me touche beaucoup et c'est tout simplement génial. Merci

26 août, 2006  
Blogger coyote des neiges said...

Verse les dans ton jardin et plante une fleur vivace dessus... Chaque année elle refleurira!

27 août, 2006  
Blogger Muse said...

je suis bouleversée à la lecture de ton blog et me demandeencore comment j'aurai réagi...Je conçois que ce soit extrêment dur de prendre de décisions à ce moment là de la vie.

27 août, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

Un nouvel arbre dans la cour?! C'est ce que fille aînée m'a demandé de faire avec les siennes si par malheur elle partait avant moi.

27 août, 2006  
Blogger Une Peste! said...

Ma jeune soeur, décédée à 14 ans, est enterré au cimetière de notre paroisse. Nous n'y allons presque jamais. C'est douloureux et comme ça, dehors, notre peine manque d'intimité.

Pour notre tante Marguerite,
Ma grande soeur avait sculpté une petite boîte en pin. Quatre surfaces, quatre étapes de la vie d'une marguerite.

Cette boîte toute blonde est installée entre plantes et photos de famille, chez ma mère. Chaque fois que je passe près d'elle, je lui donne un baiser avec mon doigt; je lui dit bonjour.

Je veux pareil pour moi.
Etre près de mon monde, de leur mémoire, de leurs pensées. Délicatement.

27 août, 2006  
Blogger La contemporaine contemple said...

Vos suggestions me donnent des idées..
@bibitte: ouf, commentaire surprenant de votre fille!
@Catherine et Coyote: oui, une plante, un arbre...nous avions déjà planté un hêtre à sa naissance. Mais l'idée m'inspire encore...Et de la savoir encore un peu dans la maison...avec un objet!

27 août, 2006  
Blogger Doparano said...

Ma tante a planté un arbuste qui fleurit dans sa cour et a versé les cendres au pied de l'arbre. C'est en quelque sorte mon oncle qui fait fleurir l,arbuste, enfin c'est ce que nous nous disons.

27 août, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

Chère Contemporaire, quand je te lis je ne sais quoi écrire... Je ne peux que pleurer avec toi.

J'aime l'idée de Souimi... Un bel arbre, comme ta fille.

27 août, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

Une boîte lourde comme le chagrin. Je rejoins beaucoup de commentaires : un bel arbre, planté sous ses cendres. Et une petite boîte, à la maison, quand vous vous en sentirez la force. Mais ne forcez rien.
Je pense fort à vous...
Fanny

28 août, 2006  
Blogger Chocolyane said...

Trouve quelque chose qu'elle aimait particulièrement...

Mon grand-père désire qu'on disperse ses cendres dans la rivière Macaza, au pied du chalet qu'il a depuis de nombreuses années...

28 août, 2006  
Blogger Christophe Berget said...

Je ne suis pas en accord avec le titre. On ne nait pas "poussière" et on ne retourne pas "poussière". On nait en "être" et on reste un "être" à tout jamais !
Pour les cendres, je ne peux point t'aider....Tu trouveras le meilleur endroit d'ici quelques temps.
Bon courage.

28 août, 2006  
Blogger isa's memories said...

Ouf c'est pas évident tout cela! J'en ai aucune idée...Il y a beaucoup trop de questions douloureuses... car faut savoir allez vous rester à cet endroit pour toujours? Si vous mettez ses cendres dans le jardin??? peut être lui faire une belle place bien décorée et bien vivante quelque part avec vous? Je suis vraiment sans mot.

28 août, 2006  
Blogger La contemporaine contemple said...

@Doparano,la copine, Fanny, Chocolyane, accent grave, isa: et bien l'idée reliée au végétale semble la plus pertinente!!!merci
@Christophe: moi aussi, je ne suis pas d'accord mais bon, c'est une phrase issue de la Genèse de notre belle religion catholique, voilà!!!

28 août, 2006  
Blogger l'élogieuse des mots said...

L'arbre est le symbol de la vie.. Ces cendres peuvent servir à nourir un petit arbre qui survivra aux intempéries de la vie...

28 août, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

J'appuie Chocolyane : tu pourrais p-e enterrer ses cendres à un endroit qu'elle affectionnait beaucoup.

Derrière la maison me parait un peu éphémère si jamais vous décidez de déménager ou peu importe, quoi.

Planter un arbre ou une fleur est une très bonne idée aussi. Ses cendres se mélangeront avec la terre et nourrira la plante en question. D'une façon, la petite renaîtra dans une autre forme.

29 août, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

Merci pour la référence, souimi, et pour le commentaire, Contemporaine. Si ces images sont arrivées à point, j'en suis trop heureuse. Peut-être que ça a paru à travers l'objectif, mais j'ai moi-même eu une pensée pour vous en étant là-bas!

29 août, 2006  
Blogger La contemporaine contemple said...

Ah, Martine, merci énormément...les photos ont eu effectivement un effet curatif...moi qui a un trip de chalet et nature ces jours-ci !

29 août, 2006  
Blogger Karo Lego said...

Votre démarche est saine. Je ne peux imaginer transporter les cendres de mon enfants, même si comme vous dites, il ne s'agit là que de matière. Absurde, étrange, poignant...

Je ne donnerai point d'idées nouvelles. La nature semble effectivement être un bon lieu où ritualiser la mort de la petite. La rivière? L'arbre? Le jardin? Prenez le temps de laisser monter une idée claire, celle qui montera à votre coeur comme une évidence.

En pensées avec toute la famille.

02 septembre, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

Bonjour, au racine d'un jeune arbre les cendres s'apaiseront. L'arbre végétal mais vivant se nourrira d'elles. A regarder, à toucher, à parler, à écouter... un arbre vaut bien mieux qu'une pierre froide, dur, sourde, morte...

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